You’re Just One Person: Finding Grace and Support as a Caregiver

[Kendall] (0:00 - 0:19)

Washing this human that you always felt was so strong, kind of losing their independence and you're thinking, that's the strongest person I know, and now they need my help. That's been hard and you have to reflect regularly, like, am I going too far? Am I saying too much or doing too much?

Am I overstepping? Because I am still his kid and his eye, right?

[Arnelle] (0:27 - 2:03)

Welcome to the Lung Help Champion podcast brought to you by the COPD Foundation. Each episode brings practical tips, expert insights, and a powerful lived experience. If you have lungs, you belong here.

So let's take a deep breath together and get started. I'm your host, Arnelle Konde. And today we're talking about something that often happens quietly behind the scenes of chronic illness care, caregiving.

For many people living with COPD, bronchiectasis, other chronic conditions, there's often someone behind them helping manage medications, appointments, oxygen equipment, emotional stress, and so much more. In today's episode, we'll talk about how caregiver roles evolve over time, the invisible work caregivers do every day, caregiver stress and burnout, the importance of support, community, and respite care, and why caregivers deserve care, too. And to help guide this conversation, we're joined today by Jamie and Kendall, who each bring personal caregiving experiences and perspectives in today's discussion.

Welcome and thank you both for being here. Thank you for having us. Yeah, thank you for having us.

I'm excited. Let's jump right in. Let's start with becoming a caregiver.

Caregiving often doesn't happen overnight. A spouse becomes the medication organizer or a daughter becomes transportation support and the one taking notes during doctor's appointments. I want each of you to talk about your experiences when you first transitioned from daughter to caregiver.

[Kendall] (2:03 - 5:33)

So mine was a little, probably maybe a little bit different than most people's. My dad was diagnosed with COPD in 2011, right before I got married, and they misdiagnosed him with ALS and then re-rediagnosed him officially with COPD. And at that point, he didn't want to share any of the journey with me because he was very adamant that I am his daughter.

He is my dad. He's going to be my caregiver always because he's my dad and it's not my position. And it took a few years for him to actually be open to me joining the caregiver team.

And my aunt was his primary sole primary caregiver for many years. He sold his house, moved next to her, and she has been incredible with him over the last, it's been 15 years now. And it's only been in the last four years really that he's allowed me to be part of the journey as caregiver.

And it's been difficult to transition into that role as his daughter because it's just hard to watch your dad decline. And it is difficult to be the one that's coordinating medication and doctor visits and transportation and all those things. But it's been a blessing as well because this is a huge part of his life now.

And I told him that I want to be part of it. I'm your daughter and I'm here and I'm here to help you. And I always told him you raised me right, so I know how to help.

Let me help. So when he finally accepted that, I think a lot of it for him was acceptance. He needed to accept that he did need extra help and that my aunt also needs the help with.

She does an amazing job with him, but she's just one person, and it can be a lot. So I'm also there to support her as another person that's going through this. So it's been a team effort, but it's been a long journey.

But it's an honor to be able to help care for my dad in the way that he's oxygen for me. So a little in contrast to that, I was pretty young when my father was diagnosed and he has a genetic form of COPD, which is awful law and anti-trips and deficiencies. So definitely something he was born with, something he's always dealt with and something I have always witnessed as a young kid.

So very early on, I was doing things that I wouldn't have ever recognized as caregiving. It's just what you did to be helpful. So learning how to put the little piece on the top of a tank.

What is this thing? You have it in your hand. You don't even know how to fit that on.

And then all of a sudden you know that's a regulator. And all of a sudden you know how many tanks you need to take on a trip and how to make sure we have those tanks available to take on that trip. So I would say at a very young age, I was taking on certain small responsibilities.

Now, my dad has always been great with paperwork and being awesome at his medicines, what he should take. So I didn't have that much of a role there, but more of the physical side of it. So making sure that we could fit the concentrator in a certain room, had enough tubing to get it here and there.

Making sure we had the nebulizer on standby or the medications he was taking ready to rock and roll. So I can look back now and see, oh, I was becoming a caregiver very early on and then transition to actually becoming a respiratory therapist because I really wanted to know what all these words were and what all these things were for. So definitely early on caregiving transition as a kid and then now as an adult, I'm still right there with him and trying to help along the way.

It's amazing.

[Arnelle] (5:34 - 5:49)

That is great. You both had mentioned the small responsibilities that turn into larger responsibilities over time. What are some things that I just surprised you about caregiving or what are some things that people may not realize happen behind the scenes?

[Kendall] (5:49 - 8:26)

I think for me, it's a lot of daily tasks, like doing his laundry, making sure his bed sheets are fresh, making sure that he eats. When he's sick, he doesn't want to eat and that's been a really big one. I think a lot of times we think about the medical side of it, but the emotional side of it has been just as important.

For my dad, that's something that I've been able to help along his journey as being there for him emotionally. I've been told a lot of times that I'm part of the reason that he's still here because it gives him a lot of joy. When my daughter comes around and sees him, he's in the final stages of COPD and seeing my daughter and my husband and my brother and his kids.

And when we come over, and we give him a sense of normalcy because we can just talk to him about the things that make him him and the things that he's still interested in, the emotional side has been probably surprising because there have been some days when that's been almost, if you can say it this way, more important than the medical things. And then also just really being there for my aunt as the other primary; she's needed a lot of support as well. I think one of the surprising things for me with becoming more of that caregiver role is washing this human that you always felt was so strong, kind of losing their independence and to tie in with what you said, that emotional side of it.

And you're thinking, that's the strongest person I know and now I need my help. And so that's been hard and you have to reflect regularly. Like, am I going too far?

Am I saying too much or doing too much? Am I overstepping? Because I am still his kid and his eye, right?

So I never want to cross that boundary. I always want to make sure I'm being supportive. And sometimes that support could be tough love too.

But I want to maintain your relationship with them. And so try to be mindful of that. You know, I think that him and I both have surprised each other with he's kind of allowed me to grow a little quicker and maybe respected certain things that I have.

I have thought or my opinions as I have become a little more educated and all the things that he has had to go through. And I always want to try to remember that this is his experience. You know, and so I know I have a professional side of my life and I see and hear all these things, but I'm still his kid.

So trying to maintain that relationship has been, I guess, a bit of a surprise that I didn't really see coming. Like, I could take on all the stuff, but you know, I still want to be his daughter. And you always be their baby.

You're always their baby. It doesn't matter.

[Arnelle] (8:26 - 8:26)

Yeah.

[Kendall] (8:27 - 8:46)

No, that's so true. And I'm so glad you brought that up because that's definitely come up between my father and I as well. And it's like, the tough love thing, especially has come up.

Like, Dad, you gotta let me help. Like, I had to kind of get after him a couple of times when you get sick, you have to let me know or you have to let Carol Joe, my aunt, let me know.

[Arnelle] (8:47 - 9:09)

That's so true. And you both had mentioned the emotional side of caregiving, right? And sometimes caregivers will downplay what they're carrying, right?

Because they're so focused on caring for their person. But we all know that burnout is real, whether you're a caregiver or not. And burnout doesn't mean you love them any less, right?

So when do you recognize that you're reaching that stage and you're running on empty?

[Kendall] (9:10 - 11:09)

For me, personally, I know that I start to get really irritated. I feel like with everything, right? So it's almost like there's always this sound on in the background.

Like, I always have something running or like, all my tabs are open. And I can't quite get that computer to run smoothly because all of these tabs are open. It's like you never can relax or go to sleep because you're thinking, did they make that appointment?

Did they get the resource they needed? Did that insurance paperwork go through, you know, that business side of it? And then you're also, are there symptoms under control?

Are they going to need me? What if I lose cell phone service? It's like these things are always in the forefront.

And you always kind of feel like, I don't know if I'm allowed to relax, you know? And so it's like those tabs are always open. I know for me when I'm reaching that kind of burnout stage is when I'm a little bit irritated with everything.

So I have to kind of re-center and refocus and say, wait, I'm not fight or flight. Everything's okay. We have all of our ducks in a row.

We've done what we can and try to re-center. I was going to say the same thing. It's that irritation.

And then for me, when I want to just, like, cloister myself and be alone and not have to answer any more questions, I know that it's burnout time. And you mentioned something that I think about all the time. What if my cell signal goes out?

Or what if it's vacation or I'm on a trip for work or something and I'm far away? And he has a really bad exacerbation and is in the ER. How do I get home?

And then the guilt. Is it okay if we go on vacation? Is it okay if we travel or go out of town?

Is it okay if I do something for myself? And I see my aunt go through that a lot too, especially because she says next door neighbor. So we talk about it all the time, and I think we encourage each other constantly.

It's okay to do something for yourself because you have to fill your cup because you're constantly pouring out of it. So that's a really important topic.

[Arnelle] (11:09 - 11:27)

Very important. And I love that Kendall said, am I allowed to relax? Because I know a lot of caregivers may think that, like, am I allowed to chill, or am I allowed to go on vacation?

So with that, do either of you, I think I know the answer to this, but have either of you struggle to ask for help when you're trying to take time for yourself? Yes. Yes.

[Kendall] (11:28 - 15:09)

All the time. My husband always says that he's like, hey, it's okay to ask for help. We're here.

Yeah. But it's hard because I think you get it in your head, like, at least I have. If I'm not there, who's there?

If my, if my aunt and I are both, you know, off call at the same time, then what's going to happen, you know, is he going to be okay? Can we rest? It is very hard.

And asking for help is extremely hard. But it's something that you learn through the process because, you know, at least for me, I've learned that there is a lot of strength and asking for help. And I don't have to be the strong one all the time.

And that's going to actually make me tear up because my dad was always so, he's such a strong man. You know, it's like you said, the strongest man you know, and you're watching him deteriorate. It's just hard.

So I feel a lot of times the way that shows up for me is I don't want to tell my dad how I am doing emotionally. I just always want to tell him I'm fine. Everything is great.

I can handle this because I don't want, you know, mentally, I don't want him to feel like a burden because he's not. But realizing that it's okay to be honest about how I'm doing emotionally and mentally and then ask for help, ask for rest, find someone who can fill in. There's a lot more strength in that than, you know, keeping it all inside.

But it's definitely a hard thing. I remember my dad actually had a double lung transplant seven years ago. Now he's he's doing well, by the way, we were in the hospital and it was going to be the portion of our stay where they educated him about everything, the, you know, miles long worth of prescriptions he had to handle and all the instructions that come along with a post lung transplant patient.

So I remember feeling like this is my time to shine. I got this, right? So we've already been through plenty of sleep deprivation.

We've already been through the worry and is he going to make it through the surgery and and the several days of post stop and ups and downs, right? I hadn't slept. I'm certain I hadn't slept as I know, probably none of the family had.

And I, we went into this classroom and we're learning all this information and I was so focused and I think it's probably the best my brain has ever treated me in my life. Like I was just really focused and I, I retained all of it. And then I remembered, I just, I just held it.

I held that and I was like, I have it. I have it. If he needs anything, if he has a question, I have it.

And then as we headed into that evening, I just remember feeling absolute exhaustion. Like I had, you know, been so on, so turned completely keyed off for that information to receive it because I felt like that's how I could help most. That's how I could help my family, how I could help him to transition out of the hospital.

And I remember that night just asking my mom, like, I have got to go lay down in a real bed, not, you know, not here on one of these couches, not in the facility. I'm going to, and it was still in a hotel. It wasn't back home.

But I said, I'm, I'm going to need to go sleep. I have been, and it felt wrong. It felt like it didn't have asked, you know, to do that.

But she said, Oh, yeah, please, like, I probably should have asked that several days prior, but it's hard. It's hard. You, you want there.

You want to be your best self for them because, like you said, your, your parent has given you every taught you everything. And it was tough, but I'm really glad I did because, you know, there were some more ups and downs over the next couple of weeks. And I think that could have been a turning point.

Had I not thought about some rest of that night, I probably would have just totally crashed. Yeah. Yeah.

[Arnelle] (15:10 - 16:13)

And this was, I think you both were being so transparent about talking about that side of caregiving because I feel like that's what a lot of people need to hear because so many people are going through the same thing. And I have not been in your shoes to that extent, but I know when my mom was sick, I was the same way, like, Oh, should I even relax? Like, I don't know if like she's going to have another hospital stay.

And so I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being transparent. I know that your experiences are going to resonate with so many people.

And before I start tearing up, so next question. So many caregivers don't realize that respite care exists. And for those of you listening who don't know, respite care is a service where a trained professional volunteer or even another family member or friend provides short term care for someone else who was chronically ill has a disability, et cetera.

And essentially, respite care gives the primary caregiver a break from their responsibilities, have either of you resorted to respite care. And if yes, what made you finally realize you needed a break. And if no, why?

[Kendall] (16:14 - 20:03)

We never have in my family. I have. If my aunt is listening to this.

I have approached the subject. But I think I think my family were doers, you know, and we're definitely like the fixers. Sometimes to our own detriment.

And I think that it's a little bit of a sensitive subject. I think in my family simply because we have always been here for each other. If my aunt always says it's family first, we're here for each other.

That's why we're here. And so I think she sees it as a calling to take care of my dad. And it's a little different because she's his sister and she's his neighbor.

So it's, I think from that standpoint, there's probably a lot of people out there who relate to that. It's hard to let go of the reins to because I think we can get into this pattern where we have been the caregiver for so long. We know the nuances.

It's not just the medications. We know that, you know, the time of day, my dad opens his blinds and my aunt knows that that means he's awake for the day and she goes and looks at his their next door neighbor. She will look at his windows every single morning around the same exact time of day to make sure that he's woken up that morning.

And I think it's little things like that that make it hard to hand over care, even for a day or a week, because how do you explain all of that? Can you make a list? My dad likes the carpet near his bathroom to be placed a certain way.

It's just what gives him comfort. You know, is that something that we need to include in the care notes and it kind of becomes like a mission that you hold tightly to? And I think the other thing too that's difficult is because it becomes your identity.

Even if you don't mean for it to, caregiving definitely becomes part of who you are. So it can be hard to step back from that. And that's been our experience.

And I've offered to give her a break as she wants to go on vacation or something. It's easy for me to stay in her house, you know, and be there in that full capacity, 100% for my dad, but it's really difficult. So that's how we see respite care.

I hope that maybe one day she will be okay with it. But who knows? I am so glad, you know, to it sounds like have similar experience to you.

We have multiple family members that help and that definitely is a huge, huge benefit. And I know there are a lot of families out there that maybe don't have that many people around for various reasons. In my professional life, though, I do work in a hospital setting as well as home care.

And I have seen respite care benefit so many families, especially when there's only one and that happens a lot. It happens a lot when there is one caregiver, you know, it for various reasons that we probably don't even have to get into. But sometimes there's only one person that's there to help, and that one person doesn't just have that person to take care of.

You know, they have a whole family, whatever the case might be. And so I have seen it benefit multiple families in my professional life. And I'm really, really grateful that that is an experience that people can take advantage of.

I don't mean to sound like it's an advantage, but that people are able to utilize because if you are the sole caregiver for a person in need, it is exhausting. And we often find that the caregivers find themselves in hot water. If they don't take care of themselves, you know, letting their appointments go, letting other health issues of their own go.

And then they end up in a worse off situation and then that person's left with no one because the caregiver is not available for an even worse reason. But I have seen it benefit many, many people. We just haven't had to utilize it.

We've been very, very blessed and fortunate with multiple family members and friends that have helped out with my dad.

[Arnelle] (20:03 - 20:13)

And going back a bit to the emotional side of caregiving, do you guys have a support system when times feel really heavy? Yes, very much.

[Kendall] (20:14 - 22:21)

I mean, it's, it's, it goes back to that. What Kendall was saying, how her family is incredibly involved, ours is too. We have my aunt's knuckles and cousins all live in the same area.

So we have all been walking through this with dad for years and more extremely close and we're all there for each other. And then I cannot at all underplay the importance of therapy. I have gone to therapy for years because it's extremely helpful.

Even in the times when things are fine and, you know, dad's health is okay. Everything's been alright. Everything feels pretty good.

Sometimes those are my favorite times to have a therapy session because it's like you can prepare. You can actually, when everything has settled down, I really find that's the time when I'm able to process it the most. So keeping on top of my mental health very proactively has been very key to walking through this with my family.

I was able to find multiple support groups actually online through various social media avenues. And it was great to not feel alone because there was nobody in my personal life that I knew of that was going through these things. I thought, gosh, our family's so different.

We're so strange. You know, we're the only ones experiencing these things. And he's the only one that's this unwell.

And he's the only one with these many needs. And that's just not true. And it's, you know, of course, outside of lung health, there's plenty of other reasons that people would need resources.

But reading through and engaging with people in those support groups is so beneficial because you don't feel alone. And you don't feel crazy. It's like, oh, it's okay that I need to ask for help.

It's okay that I don't understand what this means. It's okay to reach out and vent a little bit. Sometimes you feel terrible for venting.

You know, I'm grateful for this experience. And if people haven't gone through it, you just kind of sound yucky like so you don't want to help. And if that's not the case at all, it's just can be exhausting.

You know, so I think it's great to have people that have been through that experience that you can have those conversations with pretty openly about. And there's no judgment. You know, I think our groups are super beneficial.

[Arnelle] (22:21 - 22:50)

And everyone needs a support system. And sometimes, you know, you can go and outsource to find people who may not be in your immediate circle that are going through the same thing, right? So it's really important to find those circles and those groups.

And I'm glad that you mentioned that. So caring for a family member can sometimes change family dynamics. I know you both said that your families are very supportive and they help each other.

But in what ways, even if positive, has caregiving affected your relationship or communication with other family members?

[Kendall] (22:50 - 24:43)

My aunt and I, it's brought us very close together. I mean, she's like a second mom to me now. So that's been incredible.

And my cousin, she has been very present in my dad's life too. And I always get emotional when I think about their relationship because she's like another daughter to him. And it's just, it's amazing to see those relationships form and how deeply she loves my dad.

So it's brought us closer together too. There has been strain on a few relationships in our family as well because people deal with grief and difficulty and terminal illness like in different ways. It really, I think it depends on the person that can bring people closer together but can also cause strain.

But I think the important thing there too is to remember, I remind myself of this that just because this is how I'm processing things that doesn't mean it's the right way or the only way. And sometimes the strain comes from, that's an outplay of grief, you know, and that's been really key for me to remember to to be consistent and, you know, that family members life in the way that's okay for them. Like they, I'm going through it right now with someone that's very close to me, but there's a little bit of distance right now.

And I'm just constantly reminding them that it's a judgment free zone. And then I understand because we're going through this together and we might not respond to it in the same way. So I think, I think keeping communications, uh, lines of communication open and keeping judgment out of the way that we process our relationships through this kind of thing is very important.

For me, it's so interesting because I grew up with it starting from such a young age that, you know, and I'm the youngest and the whole family. And of course, everybody's favorite. That's what that means.

We all know that. Yeah, I mean, eldest. So no, oh, oh well.

She's not in the club, but yeah.

[Arnelle] (24:43 - 24:44)

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

[Kendall] (24:46 - 27:16)

So being that, you know, having that feeling, and that's part of my insecurity too, but having that feeling of being the youngest and you know, you'll always be the littlest, the youngest, you know, does silly and crazy things. And so early on, I can like picture the movement of how my family felt about me once I started taking on more responsibility and having more open lines of communication. So like as we're experiencing these things together, feeling like, Oh, okay, I can tell her when I'm having a hard day and I can handle it.

You know, I remember saying multiple times, you give me all the information and let me decide if I can handle it. Exactly. Don't

It's okay. If you're having a hard day or if you're shorter, but I can handle it. You know, when as I'm, you know, entering into college or I'm away doing something for high school, I can handle that information.

If I'm not with you, please let me decide. I'm, I've got it. It did force me, I think early on to grow up a little quicker because there were things that I was dealing with and I'll always remember my dad saying, and this is in every avenue of my life, like I won't always be here.

And so it kind of made me mature. Like, yeah, I know I'll be able to handle it. And you said, I want to always be here.

So let me take on more now. Let me take on more now. And so it, I think it brought my dad and I closer together at a very early age because we spent a lot of time together not to title on him, but he definitely snuck me out of school a few times so I could go to some of his father or treatments and stuff, which I wholeheartedly appreciate and, you know, learned a probably a lot more there than I would have in algebra or whatever, that I don't use now. But it brought up very, very close together. And then I think that it could have possibly strained other relationships in our lives of like.

So you're, you're trusting her information more than this information or there may be worse and we're back and forth situations. But this has been an extent of like 30 years in the making for us. So it's, it's got its ups and downs.

Like you said, definitely a loaded question. I'm sure we could talk about an hour on this subject alone. But I have certainly seen a closer dynamic with my father and I that, you know, had he maybe not had this experience in his life, maybe we would have never been this close.

And I'm grateful that we're able to communicate as well as we are. And I hate that he had to suffer for us to get there. But man, we take a seat now.

I love that. Yeah.

[Arnelle] (27:17 - 27:44)

And yeah, caring for someone with the chronic illness, it's, it's not easy, right? But like those small little wins like you and your dad having such a closer relationship, like those are little things that you can hold on to, right? And speaking of that, during the difficult moments, what are some small victories or wins that you guys hold on to?

Like, if you have a great day with your dad or you're attending a family gathering, like something of that nature. Like what type of little things mean the most to you?

[Kendall] (27:45 - 30:37)

I remember one time, I think it was two or three years ago, he had gone through a really rough spell. He had just had a septic infection and it was very scary and he was in the hospital for an extended period of time. And he came home and we weren't sure what was going to happen.

You know, because, I mean, that was, it was such a huge infection and he was very weak. So we just didn't know what was going to happen. But a couple of weeks later, he had regained so much strength that he drove himself to get a haircut.

And it's, it's one of those things where it sounds like such a small, normal thing. But when you're walking with somebody who has a progressive illness, like COPD, when they are able to do something like that and they're bouncing back from, frankly, almost, we almost lost him. Or him to drive himself to get a haircut.

I will never forget that. It was such a huge win. And it made me realize that the little wins are really the big wins.

So now, every time that we are able to talk to him on the phone because he has enough breath to be able to do that, it's huge. Every day that he's able to text me in a paragraph instead of just a couple of words because he has the energy, it's monumental at this point. No, I love that you said that.

Like things that, you know, us probably more healthy people totally take for granted, you know, the everyday things. I remember the first time we were actually had transitioned to the hotel room after he'd had his transplant and he was off oxygen, which was insane because I couldn't, I didn't have many memories, you know, prior to him using oxygen full time. And he, I said, Hey, I'm out here in the living room.

You just yell if you need something. I had had such an experience of him needing so much help from me for so long that I was just, I was on standby. I'm like, I'm right here.

I'm right here. You let me know. And he goes in there and takes to shower.

And I'm listening. You know, I'm like, Okay, okay, he's fine. He's fine.

And he comes out. And he said, Oh my gosh, I didn't need anything. And that's the first time I've taken a shower without having to sit down and I can't even tell you how long and I just like started crying because I thought I have never thought about it.

I have never thought about needing a break for anything. He's in there celebrating, and I'm out there panicked. Like, is he a great?

And he says, I didn't even have to sit down. I feel great. I can break it.

I'm in it. And it's so weird because those small wins or those things that we take for granted are so huge. And it's great to be able to celebrate that as a caregiver with the person that you're, you know, helping through it.

I love that. I love that you can jump right into those little wins and all the little wins build up to to a monumental thing for sure.

[Arnelle] (30:37 - 30:45)

Before we close, I'd love one final message from each of you. What is one thing you wish every caregiver could hear today?

[Kendall] (30:45 - 32:34)

Give yourself grace. Give yourself grace because we're all humans. We're all figuring it out.

If you can find a friend or like you were saying therapy, that would be amazing. You know, if you have the means to do that or support group, but above all else, give yourself grace because you are experiencing life as well. You have lots of needs and desires as well.

You are a human, and you're doing your best. So give yourself grace. You're going to probably make lots of mistakes, and that's okay.

Wanting to be there for someone is a huge assignment, and we all are just doing our best. So give yourself grace. I think that's really important.

And I'm going to quote a friend of mine. She went through this with her mom, and she's been a great support to me as well. And she always says, you're just one girl.

And I think that's really important to remember is that we can't handle it all. Even though sometimes, like you mentioned, being in the hospital and you're like, this is what I can handle. I can take on.

I've done the exact same thing in the exact same setting. And my dad has said, like, wow, you're amazing. How did you work through all of that when the medications were wrong?

And they had my food plan wrong, and I'm, you know, I can handle it all because I want to be strong for you. But it's, I think it's really important to remember that we're just one person and asking for help is a strength. It's not a weakness.

It doesn't mean that we can't handle it. It just means that we're human and we have limits and we're not meant to handle it all by ourselves. So ask for help.

Find that community. Reach out to support groups. Like, I know the COPD 360 social even for me has been really an awesome resource.

Just plucking in and seeing that other people experience like this same thing. It's not just us. You know, so asking for help and remembering that you're just one person and you're not meant to handle it all.

I think that's really key.

[Arnelle] (32:35 - 35:19)

Those are some wonderful takeaways, especially you're just one person. And one message I would add is you're doing amazing, sweetie. You're doing a great job.

Now it's time for our segment's air mail, where every breath has a story, and we share yours. Today's air mail is from Ashley. Hey there, peaches, and a huge warm hug used to be my greeting when I would enter my uncle's house.

His house has been welcoming and filled with warmth and comfort since I was little. When you talk to him, you know immediately you're speaking with someone intelligent, kind, and generous. What you wouldn't know about him until you get to know him is how resilient he is.

Such quiet strength and humble persistence. Such unending devotion to what's best for those around him. So much love.

Now when I enter my uncle's house, his frail body stays seated. And I hear, in a whisper, Hey, there, peaches. Watching this amazing man deteriorate slowly has been absolutely devastating.

Watching his body fail him while his mind and heart remain strong is quite a horrible thing to witness. His lungs are barely hanging on, but he never gives up. Every time, those of us who love and adore him think it might be the end.

He comes back for another round of resistance to dying. COPD has completely changed what my sweet uncle is physically capable of. He perseveres over and over again.

But this disease has taken quite a toll on his quality of life. His breaths may be shallow. His body may be frail.

His heart may be working overtime. But this man never goes a day without giving gratitude for another chance to wake and be able to put a smile on his face. Thank you so much, Ashley, for sharing your story.

Got a little teary-eyed there, but I controlled it. If you are interested in sharing some air mail with us in your lung health story, please email us at share@COPDfoundation.org. And your air mail will be featured on a future episode.

I want to thank Jamie and Kendall again for being here today. And thank you all for listening. Caregiving can exhausting, emotional, and overwhelming at times.

But it is also deeply meaningful and remember caregivers deserve support too. If this episode spoke to you or someone you know, we encourage you to explore the resources linked in the episode description, including caregiver support programs, educational tools, and online communities available through the COPD Foundation. Thank you for listening to the Lung Health Champion Podcast.

[VO] (35:21 - 36:19)

Thanks for listening to Lung Health Champion. If today's episode helped you breathe a little easier, be sure to leave us a rating or review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It'll help the show reach other potential lung health champs.

If you have any questions about today's episode or have suggestions for topics you'd like covered on the show, feel free to reach out to us via email at share@COPDfoundation.org. For more insights on lung health, follow us on Instagram and Facebook by clicking the links in the show notes. For more info on what we do at the COPD Foundation, visit our website at COPDfoundation.org.

And don't forget to subscribe or follow the show on your favorite podcast app to make sure you never miss an episode as we continue to empower everyone to breathe easy. This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice. Always consult your health care provider with questions about your care.